The ugly cry.

Nope, she still looks adorable. The search for ugly crying continues.

I understand a desire to look ones best. Granted, the understanding of the concept and execution of steps to achieve success are some distance away. This distance, however, has nothing to do with my dislike of the notion of the "ugly cry". The more time I spend on wedding research, the more I realise that some brides can be quite specific when it comes to the roles of their loved ones in their special day. Down to the way faces contort while expressing emotion.

If you want to see Hollywood's most renowned 'ugly crying' actress, (For purposes of visual definition, of course) my research returns a resounding Claire Danes result. As a person very familiar with active tear ducts, I appreciated watching actress Kristen Bell talk about her emotions. Tears come at both ends of the scale. Unless the precarious middle is maintained, tears are possible. Happy tears are possibly one of the most fabulous things ever. It's as though our brains are so filled with joy that they back flip. So overwhelmed with emotion, our brains send out responses that seem to apparently contradict our contentment or elation.

Weddings can be sad times, for some, too. They remind us of people who are no longer with us, of love gone, memories fading and joys that have passed. Polar opposite emotions that generally make our face do that 'ugly' thing.

Not on my account, anyway!

I'm all for it. Our wedding will be garnished with your tears of happiness. Our photos will be all the more precious if they capture the raw emotion you felt while celebrating our big day.

Now I'm just having too much fun photo-editing.

And really, I'd love to have someone ugly cry with me, as I'm sure to be so filled with emotion that I'll be rendered momentarily speechless, face a-squish, and most importantly, full of happiness. 

Really, this 'no ugly cry' request embroidered on handkerchiefs and jokes about at bridal showers, it's bunkum. For any occasion. To be human is to experience emotion.

So your mascara is running, or your false eyelashes unstuck? These are just the decorations uncovering a hidden truth. There is no ugly there at all.





Images
Author Prof Elizabeth Jolley AO her sister, 1927. CC original
Please [do not spit on floor] CC original
Notice CC original 

Serendipity.

H pointed me in the direction of a TEDx clip that I just must share with you. He stumbled on it while reading an article on Lifehacker. For me, this TED talk links in with my Sixty Four Kalās adventure, and more specifically, even features a ukulele! What are the chances?


So that's Josh Kaufman, author of The First 20 Hours. A book I'm pretty darn sure I'd like to get my hands on. As H and I were discussing, for some people, Josh's four simple points are logical, and are quite a challenge for others. Part of my reason to complete the Kalās was that I knew I had a barrier in my ability to believe in myself. It's not the 10,000 hours! More than ever now, the Kalās are possible!

What are you learning?



Image Credit: Woman Reading

The Arts of singing & playing on musical instruments.

Awww, thanks, Marilyn!

1 Geet vidya—art of singing.
2 Vadya vidya—art of playing on musical instruments.

It looks like I'm jumping into the Sixty Four Arts at numbers one and two after all! Mr H and I decided today to fulfill a long held desire to become ukulele people. Nights of singalongs with stringed instruments and giggles are not lost on us now, and ukuleles apparently come with an ease of use that suits my musical abilities (or lack thereof.) I've tried to learn more than a handful of instruments in my time. I have an ear for pitch,et al, but seem lacking in the skills to duplicate it. Well, excuses no longer. I've found myself two helpful websites, Uke Hunt and Ukulele Underground and have a rather helpful fiance, who can learn some of the more confusing chords ahead of me, and help me out now and then. 

Look at my little uke! I almost chose red. Almost.

So here's to the start of my Sixty Four Arts journey. I shall be a cutesie folk singer with ukulele yet! Tonight I plan to master Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

Rock on!

Image credits: 
If you can help me find out who the Marilyn picture-taker is, that would be a delight. 
Ukulele photos taken by me. 
Clara Bow image is a Ross postcard, circa 1927.

The Sixty Four Arts

The other day, I was introduced to The Sixty Four Arts (See also; Kalā, which means 'performing art' in Sanskrit.) Autumn, of Du Pré & Moore, mentioned a quote she had found,

"In ancient times, a young woman was taught an assortment of disciplines - which when mastered, brought her much respect and value to the society. These disciplines were known as The Sixty-four Arts. One of The Sixty–Four Arts is the Art of Perfumery. Knowing how to blend various scents in order to create a healing or cleansing effect upon the spirit of a person, as well as the body, was and is indeed an art." 


Perfumery is Autumn's thing,  Kalā  19. I dabble in various Kalās, and would love to try out more. I saw this list as inspiration. Autumn and I have decided to explore each of the Kalās, each in our own way, and each to our own interpretation. I've noticed that many of the Kalās coincide with things I want to create and decorate for the celebration of our wedding (Mr H and I). 

So we'll annotate our journey, going through each Kalā (probably not in order, and really any ol' way we like) and we invite you to join us. Because this project is in its infancy, we don't know how it will all end up. Or if we will even get through the list of Sixty Four. My mind is abuzz with possibilities, and I'm sure Autumn's is too. So feel free to contact us if you want to join in, or pop the badge on your blog when it's ready to go.

How exciting* is this list? 
*Maybe not so keen on the theatrics, singing and dancing, so those will be done when few are in ear-and-eye shot.

64 Kalās

It is believed that lord Krishna possesses 64 kinds of arts called "Chausath Kalās". They are as follows:
1 Geet vidya—art of singing.
2 Vadya vidya—art of playing on musical instruments.
3 Nritya vidya—art of dancing.
4 Natya vidya—art of theatricals.
5 alekhya vidya—art of painting.
6 viseshakacchedya vidya—art of painting the face and body with colour
7 tandula-kusuma-bali-vikara—art of preparing offerings from rice and flowers.
8 pushpastarana—art of making a covering of flowers for a bed.
9 dasana-vasananga-raga—art of applying preparations for cleansing the teeth, cloths and painting the body.
10 mani-bhumika-karma—art of making the groundwork of jewels.
11 sayya-racana—art of covering the bed.
12 udaka-vadya—art of playing on music in water.
13 udaka-ghata—art of splashing with water.
14 citra-yoga—art of practically applying an mixture of colors.
15 malya-grathana-vikalpa—art of designing a preparation of wreaths.
16 sekharapida-yojana—art of practically setting the coronet on the head.
17 nepathya-yoga—art of practically dressing in the tiring room.
18 karnapatra-bhanga—art of decorating the tragus of the ear.
19 sugandha-yukti—art of practical application of aromatics.
20 bhushana-yojana—art of applying or setting ornaments.
21 aindra-jala—art of juggling.
22 kaucumara—a kind of art.
23 hasta-laghava—art of sleight of hand.
24 citra-sakapupa-bhakshya-vikara-kriya—art of preparing varieties of delicious food.
25 panaka-rasa-ragasava-yojana—art of practically preparing palatable drinks and tinging draughts with red color.
26 suci-vaya-karma—art of needle works and weaving.
27 sutra-krida—art of playing with thread.
28 vina-damuraka-vadya—art of playing on lute and small drum.
29 prahelika—art of making and solving riddles.
30 durvacaka-yoga—art of practicing language difficult to be answered by others.
31 pustaka-vacana—art of reciting books.
32 natikakhyayika-darsana—art of enacting short plays and anecdotes.
33 kavya-samasya-purana—art of solving enigmatic verses.
34 pattika-vetra-bana-vikalpa—art of designing preparation of shield, cane and arrows.
35 tarku-karma—art of spinning by spindle.
36 takshana—art of carpentry.
37 vastu-vidya—art of engineering.
38 raupya-ratna-pariksha—art of testing silver and jewels.
39 dhatu-vada—art of metallurgy.
40 mani-raga jnana—art of tinging jewels.
41 akara jnana—art of mineralogy.
42 vrikshayur-veda-yoga—art of practicing medical treatment, by herbs.
43 mesha-kukkuta-lavaka-yuddha-vidhi—art of knowing the mode of fighting of lambs, cocks and birds. {An animal welfare focus will be taken here in place of a needless practice.}
44 suka-sarika-prapalana —art of maintaining or knowing conversation between male and female cockatoos.
45 utsadana—art of healing or cleaning a person with perfumes.
46 kesa-marjana-kausala—art of combing hair.
47 akshara-mushtika-kathana—art of talking with letters and fingers.
48 mlecchita-kutarka-vikalpa—art of fabricating barbarous or foreign sophistry.
49 desa-bhasha-jnana—art of knowing provincial dialects.
50 nirmiti-jnana—art of knowing prediction by heavenly voice
51 yantra-matrika—art of mechanics.
52 dharana-matrika—art of the use of amulets.
53 samvacya—art of conversation.
54 manasi kavya-kriya—art of composing verse mentally.
55 kriya-vikalpa—art of designing a literary work or a medical remedy.
56 chalitaka-yoga—art of practicing as a builder of shrines called after him.
57 abhidhana-kosha-cchando-jnana—art of the use of lexicography and meters.
58 vastra-gopana—art of concealment of cloths.
59 dyuta-visesha—art of knowing specific gambling.
60 akarsha-krida—art of playing with dice or magnet.
61 balaka-kridanaka—art of using children's toys.
62 vainayiki vidya—art of enforcing discipline.
63 vaijayiki vidya—art of gaining victory.
64 vaitaliki vidya—art of awakening master with music at dawn.

{We may have particular trouble with our versions of #43 & #44, but we are resourceful women, and we'll figure out a creative solution!}




Info provided by wikiawesomeness.
If you know more about The Sixty Four Arts, feel free to share your knowledge with us!
Image credit: US National Archives

...on sharing and secrets.

 Where do all the secrets go?

As my old fashioned tendencies become more apparent, I wonder if other parts of my odd little mind are stuck in Pleasantville.

I have what some might call leftist ideals, I'm all for equality, I'm all for choice.

But there's something that I don't understand. (Well, there are many, many things I don't understand, but for the sake of today's discussion, let us imagined I've figured out life, bar this one little persnickety bit.)

I'm confused by secret sharing with the world wide interweb. And I wonder how much of my confusion is wrapped up in denial, or jealousy, or some other buzzword of emotion.

Everyone has a 'thing'. Something that you have to actively deal with, strenuously work on, that you worry about, and that makes up a portion of the definition of who you are. But do you want everyone have access to that piece of information?

I've read countless blogs about survivors, patients, sufferers. I've cried along with some of you. I've signed petitions supporting the causes of others. I feel closer to these internet-stranger-friends, but I worry. I worry that the internet is not always a kind place. Friends have shared stories of blog-reader retaliation, because these little things we hold so dear- our weaknesses and sadnesses, our private passions and our reason for blogging; these things effect them, in their own way, or their own diagnosis, too.

Sometimes I want to comment to these bloggers that I read, "Your story sounds just like mine." "You give me hope and a sense of courage!" "Thank you for your bravery!" But I am not brave. (Insomuch as sharing with the internet my secrets.)

Sometimes I wonder if it will be liberating. But I do not know. And I worry. Because I know that this is not a simple pondering.

Do you share big private details on the internet?
How has this been for you?
Do you own your cause?
 

{Image credits: Librarian from New Ulm  (US National Archives) edited with Grandaunt's handwriting from Mellowmint.}

vintage waves

Florence Austral, 1929 || State Library of NSW || Florence sings

Florence rocks finger waves.

Twenty nine. Thirty. 

Family and friends did the most amazing job of making my day a delight. 

(Oddly enough,  30 holds the same problems and promises.)

Distraction of the moment? Finger waves. A vintage hair style I'm pretty sure I can make work. (My half-baked curls occasionally finger wave themselves, that's a start, right?) I'm figuring if I practice enough, I'll have my Wedding Hair down. Hell, maybe all my bridesmaidens will chose styles via YouTube, and we can DIY together!

A vacuum cleaner used as a hair dryer, 1962 || Nationaal Archief

(...maybe not quite like this, though.)

So I've been all over the internet, learning more, watching tutorials, contemplating if pomade was designed for fine hair. (Still no conclusions, any ideas?)
I've been doing some Pinning, too.
Some say NO HAIRSPRAY. Others say NO GEL. I say THANK YOU, ladies, for encouraging me to search for the perfect style and technique. Challenge accepted. 

Vega of the seven seas || Vega's Pinterest boards (are awesome) || Creative Commons image licence

I have a serious case of clip want right now. 

It seems that, second to hair, wave clips or clamps are the most important part of this style. (See the ones in Vega's hair above, Or Marianne's hair over at Esme and the Laneway) I've found some vintage ones via Etsy, some on eBay, and some on Amazon. It appears that the newer ones aren't generally as sturdy as the old ones, but you can purchase more clips for your cash if you go new.

So for the moment, I have serious hair clip envy. I'm keeping an eye out for supplies needed for vintage style-styling.  Maybe it's time for a trip to Daiso.

If you see some well priced clips, let me know! 

30

 I imagine that people beyond thirty might laugh at silly little 29 year olds who have arrived at a crisis right on time. With all that knowledge under their belts about life, love and other mysteries, I'm certain they look at me and my little 29.9 with a kind of smug, dark delight. "Still so young!" some will marvel, "bitch let herself go" others will joke.  "You should be having the time of your life, honey. Trust me."

Over the past twelve months, I've noticed that a lot of my favourite interweb people are turning 30. (Confirmation bias that I follow many people my age?) Some of them with the most lavish, spectacular, hashtagged parties. Then I reflect on my own situation and wonder... am I doing it wrong?

Many of my friends are already over thirty. Families, responsibilities, proper grown up stuff, sans training wheels. I do suppose that even as a teen I thought that by thirty I would have my proverbial poop together. And in a round-about way, I do. Yet I still feel like I am learning to fly.

(Hello, awesome hair. Lady on the left & Ms. Birthday Girl, you are both brilliant!)

Cliches a go-go: 

Stop trying to run before you can walk.

Be you.

What I must remember is that the day I turn thirty will be no different to any other. All I should really allow it to trigger is a re-inspiration of desire to live my best life, to create and to become all that I dream to be. So where ever you are in your journey, celebrate who you are, all that you have achieved, and all that you are yet to achieve. It wont all be easy, but it will all be worth it.

He who would learn to fly one day 

must first learn to stand and walk 

and run and climb and dance;
one cannot fly into flying.  

Friedrich Nietzsche

Image credits

Commons sourced; Shimmer & Glow edited.

I Guess Your Age,  Tyne & Wear Archives & Museums

DeVillentroy Birthday Party ca.1925, State Library of New South Wales.

Find out more about Creative Commons. CC Affiliate Network

Tutorial: How to tie the perfect fluffy bow.

The Perfect Bow... I wanted so very much to know how to achieve this as a teenager. I worked in an ice cream kiosk, and one of my most favourite friends worked across the way in a card shop, wrapping the most fabulous presents and tying the most marvelous bows. A decade later, she taught me the most awesome tips. I feel a little guilty giving away her secrets. 

So this tutorial is just between us, ok?

Firstly, supplies. My choice is always a card & paper shop. My local happens to have good quality ribbons at very reasonable prices. I calculated that I can make a full fluffy bow cheaper with these per-metre ribbons than with  $2/junk/variety shop ribbons. Oh happy day! 

If you are trying online, check out Etsy or eBay. The large craft stores in Australia have quite a plain range of per-metre colour options, which is something to keep in mind. If I ever find one of the quality manufacturers I prefer being sold online, I'll let you know. 

Handling the ribbons before purchasing will give you some idea of how your bow will sit. Some seem to be more of a starched texture (Especially the discount shop variety) others will have wire, some will have satin edging. My favourites for this bow would be the plain non-starchy or wired ribbons.

(A note on paper: One of my favourite things to do is match paper to ribbon. Sometimes, however, I opt for plain kraft, and let the ribbon really pop. You'll see this more in future tutes. Brown paper is also an economical option, so it offsets the costs of the ribbon, in my mind!)

When I wrap gifts, I have a terribly silly habit of forgetting everything I need when I get ready. So I'm going to imagine you are as forgetful as me. 

You'll need:

Scissors

Wrapping paper

Sticky tape

ORGANZA RIBBON: For the main bow that goes around the whole present (gold, in this case) you can choose to measure around the parcel and add 1.5 metres (5 feet), OR if it is a smallish parcel, I always opt for 1.5 metres total. I've found that over time main ribbon length becomes instinctual, and you'll know exactly what an arm span of ribbon can do. 

Contrasting/coordinating ribbon: This project has 3 additional ribbons. I chose: moss green, mint green and ivory. If you are starting out, buy 1.5 metres of your choices in place of my greens, with 3m of the ivory. This will give you a little room to move. My additional ribbons were a metre each, with 2m for ivory, because I know that that's what I need with my bows, but again, this is something you will learn as you go.

1)    Take the main ribbon, and find the centre by folding it in half. Place the fold in the middle of your parcel, on the top. Open the sides out along the longest length, and carefully wrap them under the present. I like to do this without turning over the parcel, it seems to offer a better result. My technique is to set the parcel onto my thumbs and forefingers. Then twist the ends of the ribbon together, and bring them back up to the top. Ensure that each section at the top now sits flat to the parcel. (You might need to turn the ribbon over to fix this.) 

2)    Slide each of the ribbon ends under the first section of ribbon you worked on (See image above, centre.) Loop the two lengths together and tie into a loose knot. Adjust until it is sitting in the manner you would like, and tie it firmer.

3)    Tie a shoelace/rabbit-ear bow, ensuring each side is similar in length. Gently tighten the bow. If you have remaining ribbon, repeat the process, so that you have two bows nestled  together. Gently tighten this one, it can be a little more delicate. (Two bows shown above, right.)

This main bow forms the framework for the rest of the bow. At the base of each of the four sides, you will attach your additional ribbons.

4)    Take your contrasting colour, folding in half to find the centre, then cutting. Decide where you want to place each two pieces (Opposite each other; green on the 'long' side and mint on the 'short side.) As in the middle, centre picture, tie a loose knot of the new ribbon onto the one completed. Push to the very centre of the main bow, and tighten at the base of the bow. (Above, right.)
Repeat opposite with the same colour, and adjacent with your other contrasting or coordinating ribbon. Tie off shoelace bows the same length as your first bows.

At this point, your bow may look quite full, and not need any more fluff. Mine, however, needed some extra fullness, so I added the ivory, divided into four, on each side of the bow, remembering to keep each bow loop the same length.

Once you have completed this process, you will likely be left with long tentacles of ribbon that need to be trimmed. I think the bow looks best with the ends trimmed to a length just a tiny bit longer than the bows. If you choose, you could opt to keep them longer, too.) 

5)   To trim the perfect 'V' into your ribbon tails, fold the ribbon in half lengthwise, with the centre of the fold being the place you start the base of your 'V', cutting out on an angle. Alternatively, you could cut the ribbon on the 45. It is important to remember to neaten these edges, as they can fray and look quite messy.

If your bow is sitting a little flat, you can scoop it up from the bottom and let it drop (See above, left.) Or you can tease it gently, as you might tease a child's hair. This usually helps the bow spring back into place. I always tease my bow before I give a present to a friend. :)

 So that's how its done. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Above is a sneak-peak of what's inside the present, I embroidered a log lady for one of my besties. She introduced me to Twin Peaks, and in fancy dress makes a rocking log lady! 

(If you want my embroidery pattern, let me know!)

Inspiring Women, I.S••• Modern Etiquette/Grace Bonney.

I think Grace Bonney is rather brave in correlating the notions of social interaction in her new series, Modern Etiquette. She's spent years now doing works of a modern Martha, (sans convictions) so I suppose it is only fitting that she help us delve into this quite specific art of being human. Grace is not venturing alone, her articles feature mini-interviews of some of the design/modern/hipster elite. (Writers of blogs with the word Design in the title, who are now world renowned, and also have awesome jobs.)

With anonymity and social globalisation issues arising as the internet cements itself into the daily lives of more and more people, a rehashing of etiquette seems to be a gray, confusing area, cloaked in the notion that people will 'know their audience.' However, I've found the things Grace reminds us of to be ever so useful.

   

Gah! Anna Emilia, your work is so pretty!

Why is Grace an Inspiring Woman? 

Bonney has managed to gracefully (indeed, the most fitting word.) navigate her way through the complications of life, while still being in quite a public position. She has endured personal stressors that not all of us would have handled so well, should we have found ourselves sitting down at night with a glass of red and the knowledge that many eyes were on everything you wrote.

Grace, you've embraced thoughtful etiquette, and you are an inspiring woman! 

I've found myself searching the internet for answers (You can scoff, I know this is the hobby of most humans!) Organising our engagement and wedding we have found that there are some social conundrums that we just couldn't come to conclusions to on our own. Most of us are raised with a set of personal etiquette (Thanks, Mum!), which is always good to lean back on,but sometimes doesn't cut it in relation to formal and informal communication via the internet. I have solved some of my etiquette issues via Emily Post, some after pestering friends and family, and others by concluding that I may indeed be doing the wrong-manners-thing, but that I thought it was the best choice at the time.

When interacting on the interweb, I attempt to communicate only in ways that my grandmother would appreciate. I've always thought this would be the kind of neutral ground that I could take. I've spoken to my fiance about this issue many times. People can say the most horrible things on the internet. I'm choosing not to be one of those people. I'm sure I've said things I'm less than proud of (as Grace discusses.) but I do have control over the way I conduct my future words. So maybe it is time to adopt a new reflection- 'What would Grandma and Grace say?'

Disclosure. 
I wrote this post because I think that Grace is awesome. And I think etiquette is not bad either.
(No kickbacks, just sharing the love.) 
*At some point I will get around to writing the 1/4 of Grace's Inspiring Women post.

If you know any inspirational women, let me know. I'm always keen to discover women who are on a similar journey to me. A possible series on inspirational men may follow. Maybe only bearded men.

Image credits 
Inspirational Women: US National Archives. Creative Commons.

Illustration by Anna Emilia For Design Sponge

S••• -the Roman numerals I don't remember learning. S••• is 3/4.